My horoscope (Cancer):
“During the last few months, Cancer, it could be that you’ve met some strange people who have greatly influenced your attitude about marriage or partnership. They’ve been pushing you to get more freedom into your life. If this is indeed the case, you can feel quite sure that they’ve come under a cosmic influence. That’s no reason for you to agree. Freedom or lack of freedom is completely subjective.”
“No reason for you to agree”… What!? “Subjective”? Thanks for giving the whole magic trick away.
I’ve never believed in horoscopes, really ever. Even when I was young I saw them as vague bullshit that casts such a large net that they could be describing me or a convicted mass murderer. The Chinese Zodiac briefly struck a cord with me as I was studying mandarin. That didn’t last long as it had the same wide net policy.
But then something like this comes along with an excuse tacked on to the end and it just makes me laugh. This is akin to a priest, after a long and lovely sermon about the absolute existence of God, saying, “Although God hasn’t spoken to us officially in a while, so who knows.”
If you find guidance in horoscopes or religion, good, you are supposed to. Just don’t ever end you message with, “Or maybe not, DUH DUH DUNNN!!!!”